The Cardinal Bird - Book 1: Reverse Harem Series (The Cardinal Series) Read online

  “And you gave it a tech-savvy spin. It’s cute,” CJ said.

  We were both unable to meet each other’s eyes, but Jace had no such compunctions as he approached and caught the tail end of the conversation as well as our reactions to it.

  Jace snorted. "Wow, you two are quite the pair."

  My cheeks reddened even further at that remark. I didn't know how CJ felt about his brother's comment, but I knew I was mortified. Thankfully, Karl broke the silence.

  "Either way...you trusted CJ enough to reach out to him."

  That wasn't true at all, but I didn't contradict him on it. What would I say? I was so desperate to get out from under Nikolai's thumb that I was finally willing to risk death just knowing that there could be a chance that Nikolai wouldn't catch wind of it. The odds were astronomically stacked against me, but I had been okay with either outcome. Both lead to a freedom of sorts.

  No, I certainly wasn't going to tell them that.

  "No hospitals," I said again with conviction. "At least, not here."

  The van shook and bounced as it barreled down the...well, “road” would be a generous term. I wasn't looking out any windows, but I was familiar with these roads enough to know that we hadn't even made it to the gravel part yet.

  Nikolai liked his privacy for obvious, nefarious reasons. Because of that, he always had his base set up on isolated and ill-maintained roads. The road this one was on certainly hadn't gotten better since I traveled it two weeks ago with the same, albeit much bloodier, bullet wounds. Seemed I was going to have to grin and bear it all over again.

  Another hole in the road sent me flying up and testing the limits of the bench seat's restraints. Jace noticed and put a large hand on my shoulder to help keep me steady. He was strapped in on the bench seat at my head. Brock was the one driving while Karl kept a line of communication open with CJ and Aleks from the other van in case we were separated.

  The van lurched into the air once more. Jace put his other hand on me to help keep me in the seat better.

  Apparently refusing to go to the hospital meant that Karl wanted to just put me out of my misery on the way to the airport.

  "How ya doin' back there?" Karl called as if he knew I’d been glaring at the back of his head.

  I didn't deign to give him a response. I was still recovering from the amateur field med performed on me. How did he think I was doing?

  A snort sounded from above me, breaking the steely glare I had been sending to the back of Karl's head. I looked up, meeting dark-chocolate eyes that shone with quiet amusement.

  Jace cleared his throat. "I think she's okay, considering."

  He was barely able to get the words out through his mirth, but Karl seemed as oblivious to Jace’s amusement as he had been to my slight ire. Karl just kept the headset on as he listened in on whatever CJ was saying. "That's good," he said distractedly.

  "Where's CJ taking us?" Brock asked with a frown.

  "Well we're not going back to the hotel if that's what you're asking," Karl said. "Did you leave anything important there?"

  I could hear the frown in Jace’s voice. "Our clothes and toiletries. Nothing that can't be replaced. All our passports and ID stayed in the van’s lockbox. If they have some clothes when we stop to fuel up, we could pick some up there.”

  I glanced up at him, meeting his eyes, and he flashed me a smile that was bright against his tanned skin. I didn't know what to do, so I just glanced away.

  "Right," Karl said, somewhat distracted.

  "So, we're not going to the hotel, are we getting another one in a new location?" Brock asked from upfront.

  "If worst comes to shove, we might hole up somewhere in Estonia, but only if we need to. Our priority is to get her back stateside and treated," he turned in his seat, meeting my eyes. "Are you sure we can't stop for the hospital? We could leave the country first before we stop."

  I was already shaking my head before he even finished talking. "You don't know how far Nikolai's...Ivanov's reach goes. And it won't just be my death you'll be risking. You'll be risking everyone on your team. You'll be risking your family. And your team's family. He's as cold as he is vindictive, and it won't matter if they're women, children, innocent...he'll erase your bloodline from history, and he won't stop until everyone involved has paid their penance in his eyes."

  There was a heavy silence in the van, broken up only by the sound of the van's abused shocks as they squealed in protest on the pocked road.

  It was so quiet that I was actually able to hear CJ's tinny voice coming through Karl's headset. It was hard to make out what he'd said but the higher tone towards the end implied that it was a question.

  Finally, Karl turned back around in his seat and stared out the front window for a long time before he answered. "No, forget the fuel up. We have enough gas to make it to the border. Anyone who's hungry will just have to wait. We're not stopping until we're deep into Estonia."

  I let out a breath. He was taking me seriously.

  I relaxed slightly, trying to repress the tremors that were starting to quake through my body. This always happened after my adrenaline wore off.

  I cleared my throat and looked away, uncomfortable and trying to focus on something else. I looked back at Karl. "What was it?" I blurted out without thinking and then blushed.

  "What was what?" he asked.

  I licked my lips and immediately regretted it when I tasted the foul liquid that had dried to my skin. "What was it that finally convinced you to get out of Russia? What part of what I said made it through to you?"

  "It wasn't anything you said so much as what you didn't say."

  I frowned. "What do you mean?" I asked him, but it was Jace that answered.

  "The look in your eyes, Damsel," he said softly. "We could all see it. You’re terrified of him. You really believe he’d do those things. Whether true or not, we don’t want you to feel terror because of something we do."

  Ignoring the fact that he’d pretty much called me a young, unmarried woman that was commonly known for being in distress and needing to be saved, I focused on the rest of what he’d said. My breath was taken away at the sentiment behind his words.

  These guys cared enough to change all their plans to help ease my fear. They weren't worried that Nikolai could do the things I said. They cared because it was important to me. I wanted to cry.

  I didn't though. I kept it buried deep down. "What I say is the truth though."

  "How do you know?" Jace asked. His eyes were open and curious.

  I snapped my mouth shut, figuring that I shouldn't say anymore. Whatever their reasons for doing what I asked, it didn't matter. They could believe me or not. As long as they took my advice, we would hopefully make it out alive.

  I settled in, closing my eyes and trying to relax. It was surprisingly easy to do considering I was in a dangerous country with strange men as we headed for places unknown. At the same time, I had grown up in these types of situations...which was why it wasn't too surprising later to find out that I had actually fallen asleep.

  I knew this because I was being shaken awake as a deep voice called my name.

  I opened my eyes, and the first thing I saw was Brock’s worried face. Then, I realized that my lungs were burning, and so I took in a huge breath that revitalized through my body, further waking me up and bringing attention to all my aches and pains. I grimaced. "Ow."

  "Callie, are you okay?!"

  I blinked. My dazed mind was still trying to crawl its way up out of the seductive darkness of sleep, so I was wholly unprepared to deal with the urgency and fear lancing through his question. "Wha..."

  "You stopped breathing," Brock growled out, his voice chillingly deep.

  Chapter 8

  Ijumped, my mind quickly catching up as adrenaline began to load up in my body. I was concerned because our driver had somehow spoken from next to me, most assuredly not in the driver's seat.

  My voice came out thick and raspy, nearly unintelligible. "Are we stopped?!"

  "Are we—Callie, did you hear me! You stopped b--"

  "Brock," Jace said, sharply, cutting Brock off. He said something quick and low in that smoky voice of his that seemed to stop Brock.

  It sounded German, but I couldn’t be sure. Despite knowing several languages, German was not in my repertoire.

  Brock studied me a moment as he thought about what Jace had told him. He cleared his throat. "We stopped at the side of the road after we reached the border long enough to switch out drivers, pick up some supplies, and fuel up. We’ve been sticking to backroads, so it’s taking longer."

  I relaxed back onto the bench seat with a big exhale.

  Brock ran his fingers through my knotted-up hair, and, as long as I didn't feel self-conscious on how gross that had to be for him, it was pretty soothing.

  "Where are we?" I asked.

  "Not far from the airport actually. You were asleep for quite a while," Karl said from the driver's seat.

  "You can relax, Damsel."

  There was that nickname again. I raised an eyebrow at Jace even though I couldn’t see him as he was turned to look out the passenger side window.

  "Why the fuck are you calling her a damsel?"

  Jace smirked. "She was a damsel in distress, and I saved her."

  I was blushing now. And there was no way that Brock didn’t see it. I nearly had my head in his lap. He didn’t call me out on it though.

  "Are you going to tell us about why you're not upset or even surprised that you stopped breathing in your sleep?" Brock asked, his voice rough.

  I looked up, meeting his angry, winter-gray eyes, but then my eyes wandered, unable to keep his gaze. He had a chiseled, broad jaw that was 100% masculine and 99% distracting, showcased sinfully by dark stubble and a pronounced Adam's apple. I forced my eyes to move on, but I was quickly realizing there wasn't anywhere safe to look.

  My eyes defaulted to the riveted ceiling I was quickly becoming familiar with. "Sometimes I wake up and realize I've stopped breathing."

  "Why?" he growled.

  I shrugged, and that was apparently the absolutely wrong thing to do.

  "Callie, you didn't just stop breathing for a few seconds. You stopped for over two minutes!"

  My body started shaking. I wanted to stop it. I didn't want to be weak in the face of so much anger. I had pulled off a brave face many times before, but I couldn't seem to find the will to do it now.

  "Brock!" Karl said, and despite not being able to see him, I could hear the frown in his voice.

  Brock ran his hands through his short, black hair, mussing it up in attractive disarray. I watched the way his forearms bulged at the movement—forearms nearly as thick as my thighs. Forearms that could easily snap me in half if I provoked him enough.

  "I'm sorry," I whispered.

  To tell the truth, I really didn't think he would be able to hear me. I wanted to try to do something to stop his anger, but my throat was too dry to speak any louder. I was proven wrong when his head snapped in my direction.

  "What the fuck are you sorry for?!" he barked.

  I didn't say anything, but I didn't look away either. If he was going to hurt me then I wanted to see it coming.

  His eyebrows relaxed a bit, and his face smoothed out. "Dušo," he said, and I was pretty sure now that that word was a nickname, much like Damsel and Malyshka. Not only that, I knew that it wasn’t Russian or any of the other languages I spoke. Likewise, I was pretty sure it wasn’t German despite knowing from Jace’s and Brock’s earlier conversation that they could speak that. I wondered how many languages Brock spoke all together. "It's not your fault. You have nothing to apologize for."

  Finally, I looked away. The soft expression on his hard face was doing strange things to my emotions that made tears prick at the back of my eyes. "You're angry," I said softly.

  He swore again.

  "Don't worry, Damsel,” Jace said. “He only gets angry because he cares."

  I was sure my skepticism showed on my face.

  "It's true, Damsel. Ask his team back in Norfolk."

  I glanced down and caught the tail end of Brock's glare at Jace before he shifted his grey eyes to me. His face did that thing again where it just relaxed. "It's true. You...scared me."

  I continued to watch him as he shifted a bit. He almost looked...uncomfortable. "Thank you."

  His eyes settled back on mine. He swallowed, his throat bobbing up and down. "For what?"

  For caring?

  I didn't answer him out loud, letting him take it how he would. Instead, I said, "I don't know what triggers it. whether I'm having bad dreams or not when it happens. I don’t usually remember once I wake up, but I have a good idea of why it happens."

  "Why? How can we fix it?" Brock asked, fast on the trigger.

  I kept my gaze steady. "It's not something you can fix."

  "Try me."

  "The tank."

  It was absolutely silent in the van.

  "What do you mean?" Karl asked, letting me know that he had been paying attention as well.

  "Well, sometimes when I was put in the tank for a long time--"

  "This wasn't the first time you were in there!!" Brock shouted, causing me to jump. Karl was reprimanding him even as Brock had already calmed himself down and given me an apologetic look when he saw me startle. "Sorry, dušo."

  "It's okay," I said. He gave me a gentle squeeze. I continued my story after sending him a small smile. "Yes, sometimes Nik--err...Ivanov, I guess you guys call him, would put me in there as punishment. The times varied depending on how mad he was or...if he forgot about me." I ignored the swearing coming from Brock. "If I was in there a long enough, my body would remember to tread water in my sleep, but it always took a while to get to that point. I had to be physically and mentally exhausted before it became an unconscious action."

  "How long is a while?"

  I was surprised the question came from Jace, but a quick glance at Brock told me the reason why he hadn't spoken. Despite the light-colored hair and winter-gray eyes, his face was dark. There was no other way to describe it. His thick eyebrows were furrowed, his jaw clenched, and his muscles were so taught it looked like they could snap at any moment.

  I looked away, not wanting to meet his angry gaze even if he had implied that it wasn't me that the anger was being directed at. Most of the punishments had been my own fault, so I couldn't help but let myself think that he was partly angry at me.

  Four days, my mind shouted.

  I shrugged. "A couple of days? I'm not sure. Sometimes it was hard to keep track of time. But, before my body reached that point of exhaustion, I would have to try to float if I fell asleep. Only I can't float very well."

  Brock stroked my hair again, nodding. "Yeah, you're not very buoyant. Too skinny."

  "If I fell asleep, usually I would wake right back up because I would sink below the water. If I was breathing when that happened, I would suck in water. If I choked and coughed too much, the water would slosh, and I wouldn't have any space left to breathe. It was a bad cycle that fed into itself. I guess my body realized it would be a good idea to stop breathing when it felt water.